Tonight's Feature

Cast—Part 1

So many lights were going off that they looked like explosions, with everybody blown to bits. The image was appropriate, Harry thought, because aspects of Ulmer were being flung to photographers like meat to pigs, chum…

Milo and Fairfax

Lucien Murdock

I’ve always liked night markets. Something about the hustle-bustle of people doing business under the stars appeals to me. This one was situated in the ruins of a Greek temple on top of a mesa on…

Transmissions

2 Poems

the publishers clearing house 5,000 dollars a week for life sweepstakes   if there’s one boy i dream about a lot, it’s pat sajak. but he’s always in mortal danger, holding a giant novelty check for…

The Weather

Tom Cruise Story

Tom Cruise was pissed off at me for using him in a story without his consent. He had one of his people call and warn me that if I didn’t cease and desist posthaste I’d soon…

Milo and Fairfax

Training Day

I stepped out of nowhere and onto the Alaskan tundra. Nails Cullen stubbed out her joint. “Hey, Milo,” she said without looking up. “We killing monsters today?” Nails was a compact, muscular young cambion with pale…

Tonight's Feature

The Square of Stars

It was a drizzly Monday, and the small crowd was distracted. As usual, it was made up mostly of tourists, so enraptured by the huge movie trailers that surrounded the Square—using new technology that made ads…

Milo and Fairfax

Honey White

“It’s like they think I’m a criminal! What the hell?” “You are a criminal,” I said, my eyes on the road. Honey White rolled her eyes. “I’m a gemological archivist. It’s a perfectly honest occupation!” I…

The Weather

The Introverts’ March

Thank you for registering for the first-ever Introverts’ March, which will take place this Saturday in Washington, D.C. and across the country. This is going to be the most passive-aggressive protest since thousands of New Yorkers…

Milo and Fairfax

Ghouls

“Can you narrow it down a little bit?” I sighed. “Hooded black robe, carrying a Book of Forbidden Magic, scurried into this pub. Looked like a cultist.” “This is Transylvania Prime. Do you have any idea…

The Weather

Why-to Have a Child

*why-to: a short and helpful guide to motivate one’s pursuit of activities either a.) previously not pursued or b.) pursued so regularly that no one knows or remembers why they’re doing them in the first place.…

Milo and Fairfax

The Train

I found the train’s porter in the dining car, industriously polishing the long wood bar. It was a gremlin, a small humanoid amphibian with huge ears and bright green eyes with slit pupils. They’re passive-aggressive, ill-mannered…

Transmissions

A Clockwork Trump

As given to Bruce Bauman by Zed Cone* Last night around 2 AM I was working on a new music review—OK, I was really reading the sports pages when this popped up on my screen: “Please…

Milo and Fairfax

Regulated Ink

Dire Watchword moved his mouth in something approximating a smile when I walked through the door of his tattoo parlor. It was a learned behavior—werewolves don’t really understand why baring their teeth is supposed to put…