The Weather

Astro Guide: June 23-27

Cancer (22 June – 22 July) You feel like a fraud at work. But do not lose confidence, Cancer! As long as you keep showing up to the office and pretending you work there, soon you…

Ideas for Novels

Part(y) Time—A timely novel that explores the lighter side of the dark underbelly of our current position vis-a-vis the Kondratieff cycle. — H.D. Rizzo, 4loko, TXAR

Inconceivable

The Lies That Women Believe

Last month, Dateline NBC did a feature about Wells Church, a cult started by two ex-frat members in Texas. In the background, there was a woman dressed in a long broomstick skirt, her white hair in…

Memoir

Vacation Rental By Owner

To help pay for life after graduate school, I listed my old house on a vacation rental website. It had rented to the same tenants for the eight years I was away, a fussy Republican couple…

The Weather

Astro Guide: June 16-20

Gemini (22 May – 21 June) This week you will discover a new method of preparing your favorite sandwich. Congratulations!   Cancer (22 June – 22 July) While driving down the interstate this week, you will…

A Catalogue of My Neuroses

Classy

The other day I signed up for a class called “Cake Decorating Course One: Building Buttercream Skills.” Happily, each weekly session of Building Buttercream Skills is only two hours long, leaving me plenty of time for…

The Weather

How To Spend My Book Advance*

Commission an elaborative portrait of myself in which garbage is spread across a football field in my likeness and photographed aerially from a balloon I’m riding in.   Laser hair removal package.   Custom suit jackets…

Pop Culture

It’s a Rip-Off!

The Don Henley/Frank Ocean/Okkervil River beef (re)raises questions about our specious understanding of intellectual property, specifically with regards to music. I’ve always thought there’s something morally smelly about being able to make a bucket of money off of…