Tonight's Feature

The Square of Stars

It was a drizzly Monday, and the small crowd was distracted. As usual, it was made up mostly of tourists, so enraptured by the huge movie trailers that surrounded the Square—using new technology that made ads…

The Weather

The Introverts’ March

Thank you for registering for the first-ever Introverts’ March, which will take place this Saturday in Washington, D.C. and across the country. This is going to be the most passive-aggressive protest since thousands of New Yorkers…

The Weather

Why-to Have a Child

*why-to: a short and helpful guide to motivate one’s pursuit of activities either a.) previously not pursued or b.) pursued so regularly that no one knows or remembers why they’re doing them in the first place.…

Transmissions

A Clockwork Trump

As given to Bruce Bauman by Zed Cone* Last night around 2 AM I was working on a new music review—OK, I was really reading the sports pages when this popped up on my screen: “Please…

Himalayan Love Stories

Splash Mountain

To me, watersports is one of the most erotic things I can think of. Think about it. Whether you’re a voluptuous woman or hardbodied man, there’s nothing quite like the liquid sheen of water to bring…

Tonight's Feature

VX

We were the leaders of a secret association of Bob Dylan fans, living exclusively in a Boles Aero, where bells of iron, brass, and silver along the walnut ceiling would tinkle, tinkle, tinkle. Below this gentle…

The Weather

Welcome to Donald’s Platinum

Is your local McDonald’s suddenly a cultural melting pot? Nowadays, it feels like a hard working American can’t even get an old-fashioned burger, what with all the wasabi-ginger salads and burrito wraps behind the counter. Sure,…

The Weather

Alchemy

Hey Sara! Sorry I’m late. You look great. What smell? Oh that’s probably sulfur from all the alchemy I’ve been getting into. I hardly even notice it any more. Oh no, if anything, alchemy is bigger…

Himalayan Love Stories

Mountain High

On Batman’s previous adventure, “The Erotic Adventures of Batman” [WHICH WE NOW PRESENT AS AN ILLUSTRATED SPIN OFF E-BOOK CLICK CLICK CLICK- Ed.] we left our hero, Batman, in Peoria, Illinois where he’d taken up temporary residence with his new best…

The Weather

The Broker Commandments

And now, a reading from The Book of Urban Exodus—The Broker Commandments, as brought down from Washington Heights by real estate agent Moses “Mo” Swisher, inscribed on a pair of BlackBerry PlayBooks. I.    Thou shalt…