Inconceivable

Ave Marilla

Marilla Cuthbert is mercilessly defined in Anne of Green Gables as a tall, angular woman with narrow experience and a rigid conscience. She never married or had children of her own—an old maid in the novel’s…

The Weather

Honest and Unbiased: Kudu Coffee

Kudu Coffee Charleston, SC 5 Stars I like to refer to my failures as “brief stints”; this way my dilettantism sounds less like what it is and more like the carefully considered career moves of a…

Ideas for Novels

Hughes for Breakfast—The heroic story of a man who woke up one day and decided to eat a Sikorsky S-43. — J. B. Finns, RuPaul, MN

Ideas for Novels

Plop!—Musique Concrete meets the Nouveau Roman in a battle “al dente” that’s generis on the chop-sui. — Fred Faup, North New Portland, ME

Waterfronts

The Canals

This piece is part of Waterfronts, a series of personal essays that engage with the waterways of New York and/or Los Angeles, presented in collaboration with Underwater New York. “Tip the world over on its side, and…

Ideas for Novels

The Chicken or The Egg?—When breakfast is for dinner and you can eat pizza anytime, a man can’t hardly decide what to have for lunch anymore. — Newt “Gangrene Itch,” St. Louis, MO

The Weather

American Joyce

SCENE 1 Parking lot of a WalMart in Ypsilanti. Mouldering tires in massive piles, rusted tin cans, will-o-the-wisps. A blocklong corroded neon sign, half-buried, flickers and comes to life, reading EAT. The sign flickers, buzzes, and…

Ideas for Novels

Country Bunker—Pancakes, sausage, home-fried potatoes, grits, corn pone, hotcakes, griddlecakes, hoecakes, log cabin syrup, butter, orange juice, a hotcup of coffee, tomaters, tobaccey… — Cheek Wiseacre, Girdlehoop, IN

The Weather

Astro Guide: April 28-May 2

 Taurus (April 21 – May 21) Congrats! This week you publish your first novel. Critics largely concur that it is “lifeless,” though some call it merely “vegetative” and still others claim it responds to rudimentary electrical…

A Catalogue of My Neuroses

Role Playing

So now being a nerd is cool. Obsessions that were once considered unpardonable are now the subject of multi-million dollar film franchises and think pieces in smart publications. The other day I saw a t-shirt that…