Ideas for Novels

Metropolis Squires—A tight-knit group of landed gentry quest in a contemporary, urban environment. Cultural hijinks ensue. — Chris “American” Tire, Mintville, KY

The Weather

Astro Guide: June 2-6

Gemini (May 22 – June 21) Your new apartment is troublingly compact—not enough room to swing a cat in! That’s a problem, Gemmy; the Hoboken Cat-Swinging semifinals are Thursday and you are way behind on your…

Ideas for Novels

Orthopedic Novel—The healing heft of this mighty tome is a must for the hardworking writer. Lay it on your lap, ass or fingers and feel the pressure ease. Heat in the microwave for bonus relief! —…

Ideas for Novels

2 Much Guff—The hotly anticipated sequel to Enough, Guff! rebuffs everything, including itself. — Guod Ynnuf, Prid, NJ


Registering Motion

This piece is part of Waterfronts, a series of personal essays that engage with the waterways of New York and/or Los Angeles, presented in collaboration with Underwater New York. I’ve worked on ships. I can talk about…