The Weather

Astro Guide: May 19-23

Taurus (21 April – 21 May) Life is full of choices, Taurus. You find yourself in the wilderness, the smell of campfire smoke lingering in the air. You search through your pockets, and find a map…

Honest and Unbiased: Europe

Europe Right Near Russia and Africa, The World 5 Stars Finally, I got to go to Europe. I saved my pennies for all thirty-two years of my life. I added them up. I bought the plane…

Well, That Was A Productive Team Meeting

I just want to thank everyone for a great team meeting. We sure accomplished a lot! It looks like we’re making good progress on our client reports and the new car-sharing program. Thanks for grabbing the…

Smile! The End is Near

“Smiling” was one of many facial expressions early humans used to communicate. In ancient civilizations, these yeti-like ape-men greeted each other by baring the calcified protrusions found inside of their mouths. Remember, this was before the…

A Father’s Promise

Dear son, I just wanted to let you know that I received your letter and I understand that you’re upset about my absence from your life for these past thirteen years. You feel that I abandoned…

Astro Guide: May 12-16

Taurus (21 April – 21 May) After six months of peer review, your thesis on the profound but hidden connection between pizza and human emotion will be rejected by the Florida Panhandle Journal of Semiotics. Feeling worthless,…

Are You Cooking With Me, Jesus?

Master of Ceremonies: Hello once again everybody and welcome to another edition of Are You Cooking With Me, Jesus?—the show that helps you make every meal… simply divine! Without further ado let’s bring out the star…

Course Catalog for TV Doctor Med School

Integrated Physiology Instructor: Dr. Laura Burke Integrated Physiology builds on anatomy, biochemistry, and cell biology to explore the science of the function of the body and its parts using case tutorials, lectures, focused exercises, and laboratories.…

Astro Guide: May 5-9

Taurus (21 April – 21 May) You will soon take a long walk ending at the old, short pier, but this time you’ll remember to stop walking. Self-improvement initiatives bring great contentment. Gemini (22 May –…

Honest and Unbiased: Kudu Coffee

Kudu Coffee Charleston, SC 5 Stars I like to refer to my failures as “brief stints”; this way my dilettantism sounds less like what it is and more like the carefully considered career moves of a…

Welcome to the Association of Late-Night Radio DJ Wives

Greetings! I’m Helene Frankel, chairwoman of the Association of Late­-Night Radio DJ Wives (ALNRDJW). I appreciate your interest in our organization and would be delighted to share more information about our tight-­knit community. Certainly most folks…

American Joyce

SCENE 1 Parking lot of a WalMart in Ypsilanti. Mouldering tires in massive piles, rusted tin cans, will-o-the-wisps. A blocklong corroded neon sign, half-buried, flickers and comes to life, reading EAT. The sign flickers, buzzes, and…

Astro Guide: April 28-May 2

 Taurus (April 21 – May 21) Congrats! This week you publish your first novel. Critics largely concur that it is “lifeless,” though some call it merely “vegetative” and still others claim it responds to rudimentary electrical…

Honest and Unbiased: The Raven

The Raven Silver Lake, LA 2 Stars An avalanche of knees and elbows is what comes to mind when I think about the massage that nearly put me in a coma. Let me start by saying:…