The Weather

Astro Guide: June 9-13

Gemini (May 22 – June 21) Home Depot Orange. Undershirt Ecru. Plum Forgot. Grew This Tomato Myself. Kid, your array of “dad hues” blew me the fuck away. Before I invest eight million dollars in this…

Awkward Moments in Western Poiesis

…Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. —from “The Road Not Taken,” by Robert Frost, 1916   ROBERT FROST’S GIRLFRIEND: Where…

Astro Guide: June 2-6

Gemini (May 22 – June 21) Your new apartment is troublingly compact—not enough room to swing a cat in! That’s a problem, Gemmy; the Hoboken Cat-Swinging semifinals are Thursday and you are way behind on your…

Astro Guide: May 26-30

Gemini (22 May – 21 June) Spring has sprung, the rose doth bloom more ruddy ‘neath the dew, and local fauns will decide you might be “one of the good ones” after all—even given That Thing…

Honest and Unbiased: Blue Metropolis Literary Festival

Blue Metropolis Literary Festival Montreal, Quebec, Canada Five Stars I was recently in Montréal for the Blue Metropolis International Literary Festival. The grand prize winner of the festival this year was the American Richard Ford, winner…

I’m Afraid this Birdhouse is a Metaphor

When you sign up for a woodworking class, you don’t expect it to be much more than the advertised four-­hour class; I just wanted to meet some people and take a break from working on my…

Show Him What He Lost by Losing

Breakups can be rough. Although no one here at Lip Service Magazine has ever been dumped, we’ve witnessed the pain it causes others in countless films and T.V. shows. Handle a breakup however works for you,…

Astro Guide: May 19-23

Taurus (21 April – 21 May) Life is full of choices, Taurus. You find yourself in the wilderness, the smell of campfire smoke lingering in the air. You search through your pockets, and find a map…

Honest and Unbiased: Europe

Europe Right Near Russia and Africa, The World 5 Stars Finally, I got to go to Europe. I saved my pennies for all thirty-two years of my life. I added them up. I bought the plane…

Well, That Was A Productive Team Meeting

I just want to thank everyone for a great team meeting. We sure accomplished a lot! It looks like we’re making good progress on our client reports and the new car-sharing program. Thanks for grabbing the…

Smile! The End is Near

“Smiling” was one of many facial expressions early humans used to communicate. In ancient civilizations, these yeti-like ape-men greeted each other by baring the calcified protrusions found inside of their mouths. Remember, this was before the…

A Father’s Promise

Dear son, I just wanted to let you know that I received your letter and I understand that you’re upset about my absence from your life for these past thirteen years. You feel that I abandoned…