From the Desk of Matilda Darling

Liz Billet addresses the world via her alter ego, Albany’s most precocious middle schooler, Matilda Darling.

Yet Another Open Letter to Superstorm Sandy

Dear Superstorm Sandy, Sandy, you pernicious jezebel, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I find myself in dire need of redress for a further list of grievances that have amassed against your meteorological person in…

An Open Letter to Superstorm Sandy

Dear Superstorm Sandy, I am well aware, self-centered pre-adolescent though I may be, that of all the millions of persons on the Eastern Seaboard affected by Hurricane Sandy, I am the least of these. Your swirling…

An Open Letter To The School Dance

Dear Curiously Aligned Universe, Indeed, this eighth grade year does continue to persist in unfolding most strangely. God knows I have tried to fully insulate myself from the insidious tentacles of social life, have time and…

An Open Letter to I Know Not Whom

Dear Cruel Universe, Sometimes we literary dissidents, we harbingers of truth, are required to mete out a temporary sort of armistice with the world, the intellectual and moral decay of which we are so bitterly and…

An Open Letter to E.L. James

Dear Ms. James, I first got wind of your novel while, fittingly, in a commode. You see, my best friend Laurence DuPlessus was home sick from school and, wanting to avoid the social peril that is…

An Open Letter to D.A.R.E.

Dear D.A.R.E., Events occurring both on the world stage and in the more circumscribed theatre of my own life in the preceding weeks have given me cause to ponder the effectiveness of the curricula posited by…

An Open Letter to Jenelle Evans

Dear Ms. Evans, It has recently come to my attention that you exist. I first learned of one Miss Jenelle Evans via an article concerning your person in the pages of a certain unnamed gossip magazine…

An Open Letter to the Editors of Star Magazine

Dear Sir or Madam: Recently, my quality of life took a rather abrupt downswing when I was unexpectedly required to accompany my mother on one of her weekly visits to the chiropractor. Some undoubtedly banal meeting…