Patrick Benjamin

Patrick Benjamin is a writer living near Los Angeles. He lives with his sister and grandmother.
The Weather

Meeting People Is Easy, Part Three

This is the final installment of Patrick’s three-part instructional series on acquiring, defining, and maintaining friendship. Here are parts one and two. Months have passed and I’ve bought a hat. A Stetson most precisely. It doesn’t fit and…

Memoir

A Righteous Bandit

The drive-thru line was stalled like there’d been a collision at its end. Five teenagers packed into an Accord packed into a backwoods town with more feed stores than gas stations. Driving past the Target and…

The Weather

Meeting People Is Easy, Part Two

This is the second installment of Patrick’s three-part instructional series on acquiring, defining, and maintaining friendship. Read part one here. I’m to meet someone whom I’ve met before and I’m terrified. What will we say to each…

The Weather

Meeting People Is Easy, Part One

This is the first installment of Patrick’s three-part instructional series on acquiring, defining, and maintaining friendship. Meeting people is easy. So easy that it takes just this: a greeting. Hello, I am so-and-so. Sure, it may…

Books

Ooh, and That’s a Bad Miss

This is a review of Back Story, the new memoir by the neurotic British actor, comedian, Twitter personality, and Observer columnist David Mitchell. But first, let me tell you about myself. I was an especially unpopular…

The Weather

Smoking, a History: Part Three

Read the previous installment of Patrick’s “Smoking, a History” here. DJARUM CLOVES    They come in this thin box that fits the average pocket. They smell good. They smell good enough that you can smoke one and…

The Weather

Fine Dining: Suspect Four

On October 20, 2012, a frantic downtown Los Angeles nightspot patron made a frantic 911 call, claiming that four verbose and still-relatively-young people who were way overdressed, dressed as if they were going a distant cousin’s…

The Weather

Fine Dining: Suspect Two

On October 20, 2012, four still-relatively-young people ate dessert until their teeth hurt. Acting on a tip, LAPD Detective Patrick Benjamin brought in the four suspects for routine questioning. To see Detective Benjamin’s interview with suspect…