Metropolis Wires

Trop's preferred international wire service.
Ideas for Novels

Part(y) Time—A timely novel that explores the lighter side of the dark underbelly of our current position vis-a-vis the Kondratieff cycle. — H.D. Rizzo, 4loko, TXAR

Ideas for Novels

Brush Choppers—Nic Canine is a hardscrabble bush pilot with a penchant for dental hygiene and “gittin’ ‘er done.” But, when one of his buddies goes down in a thick patch of bush brush deep in the…

Ideas for Novels

Metropolis Squires—A tight-knit group of landed gentry quest in a contemporary, urban environment. Cultural hijinks ensue. — Chris “American” Tire, Mintville, KY

Ideas for Novels

Orthopedic Novel—The healing heft of this mighty tome is a must for the hardworking writer. Lay it on your lap, ass or fingers and feel the pressure ease. Heat in the microwave for bonus relief! —…

Ideas for Novels

2 Much Guff—The hotly anticipated sequel to Enough, Guff! rebuffs everything, including itself. — Guod Ynnuf, Prid, NJ

Ideas for Novels

Pork-Fried Champs—A group of committed athletes decide that, while they would like to win a championship they are also unwilling to give up on eating fried pork. As a compromise, they decide that they will become…

Ideas for Novels

Star Wars: The Novels—Nothing could be simpler than taking the wildly popular Star Wars film franchise and extrapolating a bunch of other crap about it in book form. We could start with the children of Leia…

Ideas for Novels

Ideas for Shovels—Like, one with a rotating shaft and another with an electric head that rotates and shoots sparks from its eyes. — “Toe” Dunn, Carl’s Jr., MN

Ideas for Novels

The Old Bait and Switch—What at first seems to spoil as a family-friendly novel about a neighborhood tackle shop takes a titillating turn when it is revealed that the proprietor of said shop embraces notions of…

Ideas for Novels

Neigh-Neighs—Two horses stand side-by-side; stampin’, swattin’, snortin’ and descaling the social periodontal disease that is the dropped g. — Wemblay Reesup, Fugjut, AA

Ideas for Novels

$24.99—A novel for under $25? Technically, yes. In New Hampshire and Oregon, anyway. — Sich. A Diehl, Sawbuck, LA

Ideas for Novels

Spotty Wire Services—The hard-driving tale of a hardworking, cross-eyed wire service operator named Spotty, who, try as he might, sometimes can’t get those damn eye—I mean, wires, uncrossed. — Rondette Savant, Clayton, NY

Ideas for Novels

Work Hard / Play Hard—A hardworking professional cuts loose after a stressful week at a high-powered job not, as one might assume, with traditional modes of relaxation such as a pleasant cup of tea, some soothing…