The Weather

YAHOO! Answers: Where can I buy a yellow lamp with a tweed shade?

Gerald:
So, I broke a lamp that was on bedside table this morning and my wife seemed really upset about it, what’s the deal? Anyone know where I can buy a yellow lamp with a tweed shade?

 

John answered 5 days ago:
probably. does she like lamps alot?

 

Big Dog Slammy answered 5 days ago :
Women are complicated man, just buy another lamp, she’ll be fine.

 

Susan answered 5 days ago:
It’s not about the lamps. What did you do after you broke the lamp?

 

Gerald answered 5 days ago:
I don’t know, I was flipping the mattress and it fell, it hit the lamp and made it bounce off of the wall and onto the floor breaking it. She just stared at it for what felt like hours but it was only minutes. She then didn’t talk to me for about four hours.

 

John answered 4 days ago:
Just go and by another lamp and she’ll stop whining about it.

 

Big Dog Slammy answered 4 days ago:
I don’t know man, it sounds serious. I agree with John, you should definitely go and buy another lamp. I wouldn’t want to be you right now.

 

Gerald answered 4 days ago:
Hey everybody, she didn’t come home last night! I called her three times and texted her a few times. She texted back, “am fine. Talk l8ter. No signal @ Spouse.” I immediately went to Target and bought what I thought was the lamp I had broken, I brought it home to realize that lamp I broke was the medium size and the new one was a large. I couldn’t take it back because Target should is closed right now, DOES THE THOUGHT COUNT?

 

Susan answered 4 days ago:
Gerry, you should know that many of my friends ask me questions just like this one and they always say I am helpful. That being said, I need to ask you some questions so I have better understanding of the situation. How long have you guys been married? When was the last time you had sex?

 

John answered 2 days ago:
What kind of lamp was it? I work at a Super Target in Tarzana and if your local one doesn’t have it, maybe ours does.

 

Big Dog Slammy 2 days ago:
oh man, this john connection could be huge. gerry have you contacted john about the lamp at his Target yet?

 

Susan 2 days ago:
Gerry, I hope this finds you well and reconciled. This story reminds me of a time about 4 years ago when my boyfriend at the time accidentally left something of mine at home when we left to go on a road trip to see his nephew graduate from 4th grade. When we realized that it had been left, I was extremely frustrated but we were able to check in with one other and realize that I could in fact purchase a pair of tan stockings from the Super Target in Tarzana. (Small world John! :)) Also, 4th grade graduation went great, these kids need all the support they can get.

 

Gerald 2 days ago:
Thanks so much for checking in guys. It has been a crazy couple of days. I haven’t been home, haven’t slept and I decided to euthanize our dog. I am drinking again and my old college roommate that huffs paint now is on his way over.

 

Rebecca 2 days ago BEST ANSWER ASKERS CHOICE:
Gerry please get help. I just found this Q&A thread and it is very concerning to me. John, Slammy and Susan are not helping you, please call the police!

 

John 1 day ago:
Rebecca, wow late to the party! I live in Tarzana, what can I seriously do?

 

Big Dog Slammy 1 day ago:
Again, I agree with John. We don’t live near him and it’s a little rude to throw around accusations. But, you’re point is taken, how’s it going Gerry, you have definitely hit some rough times.

 

Susan 1 day ago:
Rebecca please, I don’t know if you saw my questions from a few days ago that Gerry didn’t answer but we are trying. This is not something you can just jump into lightly. This is a delicate situation that requires time and rapport. Actually, this is a good time to let you guys know I have been accepted into a mentor internship 10 week certificate program. We talked about the importance of rapport building this week. This situations came in handy as a case study.

 

Gerald 1 day ago:
I made it home. I’ve been sleeping outside. Some guy paid me to watch me pee. When I got home I broke the lamp again. My wife has the car, Can anyone help me with a ride to buy a new lamp?

 

John 5 minutes ago:
Can’t. I have the late restocking shift Gerry.

 

Susan 2 minutes ago:
Yesterday in my internship we read this case study that showed an over-attachment to individuals in mentoring relationships. Gerry, I will not be able to pick you up from the hospital as I feel you are becoming overly attached to John, Slammy and I.

John and Slammy are we still on for dinner at Chilis Tarzana? Sorry to ask you here but I lost your numbers.

 

Gerald right now:
She’s home! We just confused the weekends; this past weekend was her spa weekend with her college softball team. I totally thought that was this weekend! I was so glad to see her and she sure did have a lot of questions for me once her phone had signal again! Also, she found the exact same lamp at Goodwill Tarzana! Everything is fixed! Thanks again everyone! Especially Rebecca.

Matthew Johnson writes in Los Angeles and listens to East Coast Hip Hop. He tweets @johnsonspeaks.