Name the main character Lukas, with a k. Like the magical version of a Lucas.
Call glasses optics.
Call food nourishings. [Ex. Lukas had not tasted nourishings in many a fortnight.]
Call sunburns skinburnt.
Have everyone talk very casually about sex.
Bread is still called bread, but it’s flat like a cracker.
No such thing as crackers (too confusing).
Borrow words from one of those languages nobody speaks, like Portuguese.
Call magicians alchemizers. [Ex. “That senhora is quente!” cried the alchemizer. “I wouldn’t mind sticking her with my fleshlance!”]
Call penises fleshlances.
Alter common expressions by one word: Taste of your own medicine = Taste of your own potions; Blood is thicker than water = Blood is thicker than ale; Apple of his eye = Pomegranate of his eye; etc.
Figure out a way to inform readers that the slaves are all dark-skinned without actually saying that.
There are multiple hells, so characters are always saying things like “What the hells?” or “This is a hells (some hells?) of a mess!” (Make up religion around this.)
There are 17 months in a year. (Why not?)
The government is a mercantile dictatorship, where the traders have formed a powerful ruling class that controls the three parliaments, two of which everything is run by an evil alchemizer named Fausto.
Call streets cobblepaths. [Ex. The sun shone heavy on the cobblepaths. I must take care not to get skinburnt, thought Lukas. Unlike the slaves, who don’t have to worry about that.]
Jeremiah Budin is a “writer” living in “Brooklyn” who has been known to overuse “quotation marks.” His work has accumulated itself at jeremiahbudin.com.