Before we split, let’s discuss that meetup we have been trying to figure out. We were thinking drinks after class? I really want everyone to be able to make it. Now this week Saatchi has tech for Twelfth Night, and Bowen said he has a spoken word performance, so let’s find another time. I’m looking at my calendar, and the next week is midterms, and the week after that is when Tae celebrates Prince Jonah Kuhio Kalanianaole Day back in Honolulu, so those are no good. Skipping ahead, the next two weeks can’t work because Conrad and Nikita will be at their Ageism in European Handball conference, so let’s just skip ahead to after spring vacation when we will all be a lot freer. It’s really important to me that all of us be available.
First week of May is Celebration Weekend, so that won’t work. The next week is a waning gibbous moon phase, which means Max will be worshiping his Star-God each night (we can’t plan around it, because were not sure when he will find a worthy sacrifice for the final séance), and I see more potential conflicts in the near future: Erika can’t take any more time off from co-anchoring at ESPN2, Ansel’s seminars on Haitian clickbait bleed into finals, and Sin-Chu doesn’t believe in June, so we might have to think about after graduation. I know this is a lot of planning, but it would be so fun.
Tae ships off to Afghanistan in July, which means we can meet after his tour ends in 2017 (keep in mind: when we discuss 2017, consider that Sandrine has promised that she is going to kill herself if she isn’t married by 25, and I think she really means it, so the following meeting times will have to be tentative). In the coming months, Max has predicted the moon-prophet ONTOG will have risen and enslaved all quadruped nonbelievers. After that, 2018 is a no-go because Saatchi will refuse to be seen in the two years following a winter Olympics, and all of 2020 won’t work for Octavius because it’s a palindrome. I can’t do January 21, 2021 because–… what?
Apparently Bowen’s spoken word thing was postponed, so looks like we can meet on Thursday.
Ben Jurney is a humor writer from New York City. He is a frequent contributor to McSweeney's Internet Tendency. He is on Twitter @BenJurney. He thinks that shirt looks good on you. He thinks the pants don't work as well. Whatever, you are allowed to look bad.