I am a Teenage Vampire (Bat)—The haunting memoir (or roman à clé??) of Don Vladimir Echolo, who—at 15—is the world’s oldest living Vampire (Bat). Taught to chirp in rudimentary Spanish by his Peruvian handlers—who diligently transcribed and (with the help of Junot Diaz) translated said chirps into English in anticipation of the book’s massive appeal in the American market—this aged flying mammal’s rheumy, but incisive commentary about growing up in the late nineteen nineties and early two thousands is sure to excite equally your head, heart and loins. — Rr. Admiral Hullebeq Quezada, Foghat, KY
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