The Alabama Shakespeare Festival is a real thing.
“Trick thumb’s actin’ up again. Somethin’ sinful must be on its way.”
“The racetrack of love always was the bumpiest one on the circuit.”
“What’s your name? Rose? Oh. Well you still smell sweet as a peach.”
“Ah might could compare ya to this day last June—hotter’n hell out.”
“No means no!” “Methinks the lady means yes.”
“Is or ain’t, that’s the trick right there.”
“This where Alabama Shakes get they name?”
“Hell, Reason and Love ain’t seen each other since Love got tossed in the loony bin a few months back.”
“Whole swamp’s a stage for those Hillbilly Handfishin’ fellers.”
“Doritos… O, Doritos… Where in hellfire’s my Doritos gone off to?”
“This above all else: Roll Tide.”
Evan Allgood's work has appeared in McSweeney's, The Millions, LA Review of Books, The Toast, and The Billfold. He lives in Brooklyn and contributes regularly to Paste. Follow and maybe later unfollow him on Twitter @evoooooooooooo.
Roger is a composition teacher at Georgia College in Milledgeville, Georgia. He's working on his first novel, and would like to tell you all about it.