The Weather

Male Fantasy Stories with Horrible Endings: The Collected Works

This is the first fantasy story in Tom’s new collection.

One

I’d boil it all down to sexual intercourse, with the kind of women I’ve seen on TV. Pretty ones. Busty ones. Then it doesn’t go right at all. That’s a horrible ending.

How doesn’t it go right? There are so many ways. Imagine one. I’m sure you’ve had an experience.

But, you ask, how do you get the fantasy with the busty ones to begin with.

?

To that I’d say patience. I read the magazines and do what they say. It sounds funny when they say clip your beard. I do it. It sounds funny when they say call your mom. I do it. It sounds funny when they say buy the shoes. Yeah I do it on that one too. I think they told me how much money I could spend for my bracket and I did it. I have a good pair of shoes and two shirts. Yeah well after two shirts you should be fine. If not I guess it’s not a fantasy. Pick your flavor though. That’s what about all you can do. That and do laundry. Do the laundry and pray you’ve won her enough. Pray she goes blind so that she doesn’t notice. Pray she liked it so much she wants to see it again. Your shirt. You haven’t gotten to her bust yet. That’s to come. Assuming of course you don’t fall subject to a horrible ending. If you do, welcome to my collected works.

Where’s this all going.

?

Let’s get a little more penile.

?

Ah ok maybe we’re not there yet. This is collected work number one. Maybe we’ll get to six or seven and try that out. Consider this warm up. Kissing, if you will. Kissing of the fantasy that won’t go right. Kissing all day. Kissing in your car. Kissing with music on. Follow it up with a cigarette. You have companionship. Company. A friend. A partner. A lady who understands. You are not alone anymore. She knows how old the juice in your fridge is. She asks you if it’s still good. It hasn’t occurred to you that it’s not, but you don’t know. She does. She knows this kind of thing before you do. She’s busty. You’ve got it. How long though. How long have you got it. Life can’t last. Busts must drop. That’s the first lesson you learned, right back where it started. With your mother’s swollen teats. That’s not the horrible ending you expected. You start over then and find a new one. I’ll be here. I’ve got all day.

Tom Dibblee is Trop’s editor. His fiction has appeared in Glimmer Train and his nonfiction has appeared in Pacific Standard, the Los Angeles Review of Books, and the Point. He lives in Los Angeles.