The Weather

Honest Dating: Internal Narrative

UPDATE: After Carly Smith and Robert Boyd had an honest text conversation that led to a casual sex relationship, Carly finally asked if they were dating. Robert said the relationship was just casual for him, and Carly ended it and returned back to online dating. She was contacted by Jeff, and they went on the following first date where she had the following honest thoughts.

JEFF: Hey, nice to meet you.

CARLY: Nice to meet you too.

I miss Robert.

J (looking at menu): Wow, Lagunitas IPA. That was the first IPA I ever had.

C: I’ve never had it.

J: It has kind of a hop-flavor. Bread-like, grainy. Malty.

Oh my God, I can’t believe I told Robert that stupid story about our family Christmas rituals on our first date!!

J: Smoky. Autumnal.

And that part about how we welcome the new guys that I date with the eggnog tasting!!! Idiot, idiot, idiot.

C: I’ll get a vodka soda.

Maybe he’s not over his ex-girlfriend.

J: Your profile said you’re into yoga?

C: Oh yeah, it’s great. Really calming.

He liked her picture on Instagram yesterday.

J: I had a buddy who did yoga once. He really enjoyed it. I thought maybe I should try it.

His ex-girlfriend was kind of pretty. And really thin.

J: I always get those Groupons about it. But anyway. You’re probably like a pro.

C: Oh, no… definitely not…

Will Robert ever like me?

J: So you said you work in digital marketing?

What if I lost five pounds and got highlights.

C: Yeah, for a start-up. It’s fun.

Seven pounds.

C: What about you?

And I showed up to a party that he was at, and I was wearing stilettos and skinny jeans and a tight jacket and I was so busy talking to everyone at the party that he just had to admire me from afar. But then the new Selena Gomez song “Slow Down” came on, and the crowd parted as I went into a choreographed dance with people cheering and clapping. Would he like me, then?

J: I’m a credit manager for a regional bank. I manage all the files and documentation for all the loans that the bank gives out. I deal with RTS transactions, AR reporting. I work with the sales guys a lot.

Maybe if he thought I had a hobby in something creative like interior design.

C: Oh cool. That sounds awesome.

[Silence.]

J: Yeah, so the friend I knew who did yoga, also did yoga on a trip. He went off somewhere like Bali, and they did yoga there, too.

C: That’s so cool.

Or better, if he saw a photograph of me interior designing someone’s house on Instagram.

J: Yeah. He’s a cool guy. A worldly traveler-type. I’m not really that wordly. I’m from Coronado and I’ve lived in Southern California my whole life.

I didn’t need to end things with him. We were having a good time.

J (looking at menu): I swear they had Blackheart IPA. I would get that for my second drink.

Relationships take time to develop. They start casual, and then later on they turn into something more.

J: Do you want another round?

C: You know what? I’m just gonna run to the bathroom quickly.

[Carly got up and left for the bathroom, where she texted Robert: “Hey. Sorry I left your place in a huff on Friday. I like you and enjoy our time together without the label. What are you up to tonight?” Carly returned to the drinks with Jeff and proceeded to obsessively check her phone for a response from Robert. Finally, Robert responded “Come over” at the conclusion of Carly’s date with Jeff. Her eyes lit up, and Jeff knew he was starting to like her, but he didn’t quite know why. Jeff resolved to ask Carly on a second date as she rushed out the bar to meet Robert.]

Shirin Najafi is a writer living in Los Angeles. She graduated from Columbia University with a degree in economics and worked in investment banking before deciding to quit and become a writer. She performs the voice of a cat in some videos (www.magicalstew.com) and is currently working on her first novel.