The Weather

Congressional Proposals for Olympic Sports to Replace Wrestling

In response to the International Olympic Committee’s recent decision¬†to drop wrestling from the Olympic games, the United States Congress, in its tireless pursuit of avoiding any actual responsibility, has taken up the issue.

Republican Proposals

Human Target Golfing

Rapid Bangs Grow-Out

Coal Luge

Shootouts

Exit Poll Vault

Fiscal Cliff Diving

Pelosi Javelin

Border Fencing

 

Democratic Proposals 

Ovation Trampoline

Commemorative Ribbon Dancing

Synchronized Compromising

Windpowersurfing

Free Range Organic Cycling

Maypole Ice Dancing

Boehner Skeleton

Border Hurdling

A.C. DeLashmutt is a Virginian living in New York. Her writing has appeared in McSweeney's, The Washington Post, theNewerYork, Flash magazine, and elsewhere. She also writes plays. Follow her on Twitter @acdelashmutt.