Big news: A bus crashed yesterday. Other big news: A bus crashed the day before that. Still bigger news: A bus has crashed once a day since the dawn of buses stretching all the way back to the dawn of time. “Now I know why they stopped calling them Instant Death Machines,” Joa Bun said. “‘Twasn’t just marketing. They really have kilt since the start.” So why do people still ride buses? “To get places. To get to work. To get to school. To look out the window and see the vistas. Up until the instant death part, buses are incredibly useful. Really, they’re just extra long cars.” Why doesn’t the government write better safety laws? “It can’t.” Why not? “Who knows?” Would you ever ride a bus? “Only if I ’twas but really old, and only if I ’twas but really unhappy.”
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