Two buses collided in West Jordan, Utah yesterday. “Head on,” one witness said. “Up each other’s butts and/or throats,” another said. “Down each other’s gullets,” another corrected. “It was a fifty/fifty, like an angry Zeus yet to realize he’s gone to war with his own reflection,” one witness said. “It was like an angry Greek god not name Zeus and with jealousy issues,” one witness said. “Whichever one that might be,” another witness assisted. “In any case,” one witness said, “we know that everyone died and now is either in heaven or hell or just plain earth, in the form of dirt and/or dust.” Another witness added, “Or the air, in the form of gas.” To which the chorus sang out in reply, “That’s not very likely! Not likely, not likely, oh no!!!”
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