The Weather

Band Practice

5, 6, 7, 8,

Haaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrya doin’???!!!

grash grash grash grash

dumdumdumdum, dum dumdum

grash grash grash grash

dumdumdumdum, dum dumdum

…one and two

dum dumdum…

…one and two

dum dumdum…

…one and two and

dumdumdumdum

Babybaby why you leave me, leave before volcano blow?/ Babybaby why you go and leave before volcano blow?/ Babycan’tyou see the bubbling, can’t you see the lava flow?/ Babydon’tyou let me burn yourbabygonna turn to stone!

No, no!

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel

No, no!

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellll

Hey Brian!

grash grash gra

Brian! Brian Brian Brian!

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeelll

Yo, guys. Brian. Cut it.

grash gr- What?

That’s not working, Brian. I don’t like that stuff.

What stuff?

That wheeeeell stuff. Not working.

I thought you said primal.

Yeah but that’s just awful. Like you’re skinning a pterodactyl alive. Too much high end. It fucking sucks to have to listen to that shit.

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Yeah, that shit. Cut it out.

You like what I’m doing, Jason?

Not really, Chad. Not especially, no. But a bad bass line isn’t so noticeable. Whatever the fuck Brian did with that guitar was noteworthy bad. In a couple decades you’ll find that shit in Bartlett’s. I’ll be quoting about music, and it’ll be something like, When you play the electric guitar, whatever the fuck you do, for christsakes please don’t ever do this: wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllll.

Lay off a little. I tried something new, and it didn’t work. Ok: I’ll try something else.

You ever see those old-timey videos of people trying out their ridiculous flying machine inventions? The ones that don’t fly, that just bounce around and fall off cliffs. Chad, I know you’ve seen those videos.

Yeah, I know what you’re talking about.

And they’re funny, right? We have a good chuckle at their expense, with about a century of advancements in aviation between us.

Some of the videos are funny, yes.

They’re all funny, Brian. And we laugh and laugh and laugh, and think they look so foolhardy in those crazy contraptions. They were trying something new, weren’t they? Well all of them either died or got grievously injured because that new thing they were trying to do was also very stupid. So. Brian. Let that be a lesson to us all.

In the name of flight.

What was that, Chad?

In the name of flight. They died or got hurt so we could fly.

You really want to hash it out over this? Over old-timey movies? Pick your battles, Chad.

Look, I need a smoke. Bum one, Bri?

Yeah.

So. Brian. About that noise?

What noise?

Forget it.

Roger is a composition teacher at Georgia College in Milledgeville, Georgia. He's working on his first novel, and would like to tell you all about it.