From the archives

The Weather

Honest Dating: Carly Smith

In "Honest Dating," Shirin Najafi brings us Carly Smith, 34, a woman who's taken to "drinking and smoking quite a bit" while looking for "the perfect cross between a poor artist and an investment banker."… Read more »

From the archives

Memoir

Rules for Becoming a Fat Girl

First, read magazines. Or maybe we’re born with a capacity for hating ourselves as much as we’re born with the capacity to learn language, lengthen bones, sprout breasts. I can’t remember when, exactly, I started looking down… Read more »

The Weather

Alchemy

Hey Sara! Sorry I’m late. You look great. What smell? Oh that’s probably sulfur from all the alchemy I’ve been getting into. I hardly even notice it any more. Read more »

Himalayan Love Stories

Mountain High

On Batman’s previous adventure, “The Erotic Adventures of Batman” [WHICH WE NOW PRESENT AS AN ILLUSTRATED SPIN OFF E-BOOK CLICK CLICK CLICK- Ed.] we left our hero, Batman, in Peoria, Illinois where he'd taken up temporary residence with his new… Read more »

LA Stories

Who am I Now?

This is what I remember: Hugo Hickey seemed morose and unbalanced. His tongue was yellow (I saw it when he yawned). I felt a familiar tug of hair-envy—his parted straight down the middle, winged at each… Read more »

Inconceivable

Planet Keanu

I measure my life in temperature. I take my basal temperature the first thing every morning with a special thermometer that has an extra decimal point. Then, I record it on a paper chart that looks… Read more »