Dear Mr. Ice,
We appreciate your interest in our opening for a Strategic Marketing Manager. There were a few discrepancies in your application; we would appreciate your guidance in correcting them so we can proceed.
- Under ‘Preferred work hours:’ you wrote “flow like a harpoon daily and nightly.” We are unaware of what hours a ‘harpoon’ might keep. Please advise.
- Under ‘Additional Skills’ you wrote “turn off the lights, and I’ll glow.” We’re disconcerted by the word “glow.” We currently do not know the physiological condition that would result in an individual “glowing.” At the very least we would suggest that you speak to a medical personnel about this issue.
- We have received your arrest record and while “rocking a mic like a vandal” might sound like a crime, until you actual commit a crime, you do not need to report anything.